we're blogging at a bar
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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