I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
