"it" just moved
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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