yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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