last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
