is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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