The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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