I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
