lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
