haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
