is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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