ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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