Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
