dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
