Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
