There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
