My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
