My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
