I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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