Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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