We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
