fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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