I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
