I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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