That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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