i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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