Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
