No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
