I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
