Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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