They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
