hell yes lets make some ravioli
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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