haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
