Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
