why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Boobs speak an international language.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
