Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
