K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
