overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
