Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
