There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
