I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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