I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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