remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Mom said you looked used
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
