my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
