You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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