no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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