As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
