Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
