fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
