he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Are we still banned from the library?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
