Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
